I Don't Shine If You Don't Shine
by milkshakebunny
Summary: a cute frerard of two high school friends Frank iero and Gerard way who are afraid to declare their love for each other.-Chapter 3 wasn't supposed to be the ending but i think it works out better like this. it has an alternate ending but it is very sad
1. Chapter 1

I Don't Shine If You Don't Shine

Chapter one- A typical Friday

"Frank..Frank..FRANK!" I was suddenly awoken from my mid-class snooze by the whispered shouts of my best friend Gerard.

"I hope you know Mr Smith expects all the work to be finished by lunch bell..." Gerard's harassing tone brought me back down to earth, and as if on cue Mr. Smith appeared in front of me.

"Mr Iero I hope you have completed the set task" he spat. "Cause if you haven't all lunch activities will be suspended and any plans you may have made this week after school may have to be cancelled".

I just looked at him thinking of how hungry I was right then, trying to find a way out of detention and too some food. Gerard suddenly cut in. "Of course he has sir, here's his work I was just borrowing it to ermm..compare answers?.." He hitched his voice at the end as if asking a question he then handed the work sheet I didn't know I had done to Mr. Smith.

"Hmm compare answers huh? Is that your excuse for copying Mr Iero 's work Mr Way?" before Gerard even had a chance to answer Mr Smith went over to the white bored and wrote down Gerard's name. "Copying is not tolerated in an exam class of 16 year olds Mr Way, I shall be seeing you after school."

Gerard looked down at his feet and by this point I was totally confused as to why Gerard was now the one in trouble and why he had been accused of copying work I had never even started.

The bell rang for lunch and I walked out quickly, waiting at the door as Gerard got a second warning. "I'm sorry sir" Gerard sniffed and quickly walked out the door signalling me to follow.

"What the hell was all that?" I almost shouted.

"Well..while you were sleeping I did your work for you..as well as my own, but Mr Smith clearly thought I had been the one to copy you.." Gerard's voice trailed off in a melancholy manner. Gerard was top of the class, always did his work to A grade standards and never fell behind, so getting shouted at for copying was a big deal to him.

"Well why the bloody hell didn't you just tell him that! Wait..why the bloody hell did you even do that for me?" I splayed my arms all over the place trying to find reasoning.

"I didn't want you to get in trouble.." Gerard's bleak tone made me want to wrap him in a hug and thank him repeatedly, but all I could think was why he had done that for me. In our 10 years of friendship he had never failed an exam in my name.

Since nor I or Gerard said anything he continued "You have been in too much trouble lately I thought you needed a break, and I didn't want to eat lunch alone again while you were in detention plus I didn't think I would get in trouble.." He trailed off in the same melancholy way.

"Gerard..I..thanks man" I couldn't think of anything to say so merely patted him on the back and started to walk. Gerard had always been there for me, getting me out of fights, doing my homework, comforting me while I cried about my problems. He really was a great friend I don't know what I would have done growing up without him to guide me through the rough patches, especially when my mom passed away and I was left with an aggressive and grieving father to pick up the pieces.

"Don't think you can make a habit of this though Mr!" He shot back playfully, waving away the sombre atmosphere between us.

We walked down the gravel path on the way to the nearest burger bar. It was a nice day and I was feeling surprisingly good seeming though I had just had two hours of science with Mr Smith.

"You look hungry." Gerard said blankly as I watched him sit down with his freshly ordered burger and chips. That was one of the things that annoyed me about Gerard. He was extremely intelligent but loved to state the obvious, especially when he was observing me. I ignored the obvious statement and pouted my lips.

"I forgot to bring money" I said through gritted teeth, the hunger affecting my now very pissed off mood.

"Awww don't be sulky Frankie." He cooed in a teasing manner. I glared at him and balled my fists, trying to keep my temper under control.

He sat back in his seat beside me and stared at me with a smile on his face. This made my anger boil even more and I looked away. "Your food will get cold if you just stare at me all day." I snapped sharply.

"It's not for me so it doesn't matter." I turned to face him confused. "What?" I questioned.

"I'm not hungry. I brought it for you because you had no money, now eat up grumpy before it gets cold." He smirked and pushed the food towards me. I couldn't help but wonder why he had brought me food before he even knew I had no money, things didn't quit add up. Despite the joy that was now surging through my body I still questioned him. "You didn't even know I had no money when you ordered.." He looked at me slightly startled.

"When I saw you didn't order I knew you must have forgotten your money." He smiled.

It was a fair answer but why hadn't Gerard brought himself something, if he wasn't hungry like he said why did he look weak, and why was his stomach making a rumbling noise.

"Why didn't you buy yourself something?" I questioned in a monotone voice.

"Like I said I wasn't hungry" He shrugged his shoulders but clearly saw I knew he was lying and gave in. "Okay fine, I only had enough money for me but when I saw you didn't order.. I decided to buy you food instead."His voice was almost a whisper. I just looked at Gerard for what seemed like ages, scanning over his kind face and beautiful eyes. I wanted to kiss him so much right then like so many other times before but I knew I couldn't. So instead I pulled him into a tight embrace and closed my eyes, the feeling of butterflies and warmth surging through my whole body.

"This is why I love you man" I joked and laughed into his shoulder. But the thing is it wasn't a joke. I meant every word from the heart. I had fallen in love with Gerard years ago but never been able to tell him. I mean, what would he think if his best friend suddenly declared undying love for him, not to mention his male best friend. He would run a mile and never want to be friend's again that's what he would think. He sure made it hard for me though. He was always acting gay around me for a joke, casually touching me and not meaning anything by it. But it sure meant a lot to me, every touch made my stomach tie in knots and my heart pound violently against my chest. I didn't know how much longer I could take it.

"It's only a burger frank." he laughed back into my neck as the waitress gave us a dirty look obviously thinking we were an item. "I know Gerard." I breathed back wondering why the hug was lasting so long, not that I protested.

Gerard's hands stayed tight around me, rubbing my back up and down slowly as I tried with all my strength not to kiss him. This meant nothing I told myself repeatedly, he was only being a caring friend. His hands wandered up my back and entangled their way into my dark brown locks. A shiver was sent down my spine and I thought he might have noticed because he pulled away gently. He swallowed as our eyes locked. We looked at each other with wide eyes and still features for what seemed to be exceptionally long. For a small moment I thought he might be feeling the same way I was but he obviously thought our stare was too intense as he looked down and placed his hand on my thigh. I let out a sharp breath, he was breaching dangerous territory here and I could feel myself getting turned on at his touch. He rubbed up and down and smiled removing his hand. I gave him a weak smile in return half wanting him to put his hand back but half thankful he had removed it before I got too turned on.

It almost appeared he was having the same internal struggle I was but as he pushed the food forward and grinned dopily I suddenly wasn't so sure.

"Come on Frank eat up." He insisted with a giggle, removing me from my line of thought.

"Let's share." I smiled weakly and pushed the burger over to him. He tore the burger in half and passed half to me.

"Frank sharing food, wow you must love me." He joked as he rammed the burger into his mouth, tearing pieces off hungrily. I merely laughed at his comment as we finished off the rest of our food in a hurry, glancing at the clock and realising that due to our hugging session we only had a few minutes to get back to school.

We finished up and left the burger bar. I shivered as the no longer warm weather hit me. I saw Gerard look at me concerned as I bobbed side to side trying to warm up. "I forgot my jacket." I breathed, and was suddenly startled as I felt Gerard's warm arms wrap around me once more.

"We can't have you being cold now can we."


	2. Chapter 2 your guardian angel

Chapter two- your guardian angel

That evening after school I lay awake in bed thinking about what had happened that day. I couldn't help but feel terrible thinking of Gerard in detention as I lay here. The day's events had been too much for me to handle all at once as the memories flooded my head.

After the burger bar Gerard had wrapped me in his arms for what seemed like forever. We had been late back to school by about 30 minutes and Gerard had said there was no point in staying. I was shocked as he pulled me by the hand to the local park. We sat down on the bench but his hand never left mine. I thought he might have just forgotten to take it away but when he saw my uneasy expression he just held tighter. When Gerard had gone back to school for his detention I told him I would wait for him but he merely smiled and hushed me away.

I didn't know how to feel right then, I was so confused. Why was the A grade student skipping school to hold my hand in the park, why had he hugged me so many times that day, why did he look at me with the same eyes I had for him.

I tossed and turned feeling as if my stomach had dropped out and my heart was slowly being torn apart by thousands of little knives, pulling at each ligament with tiny movements. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt a tear run down my sheepish face. I let out a loud scream remembering thankfully that my dad was at work. I buried my head into the soft bed covers and felt myself break down into a mess of tears and emotion. I lay there shaking and crying until I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I was shocked as to who it could be but didn't look up. I knew this wasn't my father as he wouldn't have been so gentle. He would have slapped me until I stopped being so pathetic and acted like a man should. I felt my anger rise as the hand squeezed me tenderly and then heard the mystery person speak. "Frankie..what's the matter Frankie?"

I then realised it was Gerard. He sounded panicked and worried as he shook me delicately. "Frankie, Frank please are you okay?" He repeated the question over and over until I slowly turned around to face him. His eyes were wide with concern and he gave me a worried look as he laid eyes upon my pitiful face.

"H..how..?" I shook violently and stumbled over the only word I could say.

"Your dad's car wasn't there, and since the door was open.." He trailed off as I began to cough and splutter through the tears. He sat down on the bed next to me and cupped my face in his large pale hands. He was still in his school uniform and the light from the setting sun through the window lit up his angled features and reflected off his white shirt giving him an angle like glow to his appearance. "God.." I breathed in a whisper totally taken back by how beautiful my friend of 10 years looked right then.

It was like he knew what I was thinking as he gave me a weak smile and shook his head slightly. "Are you going to tell me what is wrong then, or just stare at me all day?"He whispered playfully, I smiled remembering when I had said the same thing about him staring at me earlier in the burger bar. Despite my faded smile I still felt another tear run down my face and felt my eyes well up under Gerard's warm touch. I stuttered trying to answer as he gave me an encouraging look, knocking his raven black bangs in front of his gem like eyes. I gave up trying to avoid the question and answered with one quick breath. "You." I closed my eyes unbelieving of the words that had just spilled out of my mouth and prepared myself for what was going to happen next, but it never came. There was just a still silence and Gerard locked eyes with me for the millionth time that day.

"Oh Frankie." He brought my face up to his and kissed my flushed cheeks. He knew exactly what I meant, I know he did. He shuffled on the bed so his back was against the wall and put his hands on my hips. I felt my heart skip a beat as he pulled me up to lie on his chest. He began to run his finger up and down my neck in a soothing motion and to my surprise he started to sing.

"_I will never let you fall,_

_I'll stand up with you forever,_

_I'll be there for you through it all, _

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven,_

_It's okay, it's okay, it's okay."_

When he was finished he kissed both my eyelids and surrounded me with his strong arms. I could feel his damp face against my own and looked up to see he was now crying. I wanted, needed to kiss him right then but was worried if did I would go too far and be too full on, I didn't want to scare him off. I reached one arm out to bring him forward but instead he pulled me into his lap. I rapped my legs around his waist and he held on to me tight rubbing my shoulders. I finally built up the courage to lean forward and place one extremely delicate kiss upon his perfect pink lips. He looked at me and buried his head in my neck. I was confused as to what he thought. Was he just being nice by not saying anything or did he like it. But if he did why didn't he kiss back. I just sat there with my legs around his waist and eyes closed, realising how turned on I actually was. I could feel him pushing me down into his crotch and saw he was also as hard as I was. Was he trying to let me know he felt the same or was he just a typical hormonal teen getting turned on by the slightest touch of anything.

But before I could figure it out I felt myself slipping into a deep sleep at the rocking motion of Gerard's comforting hands. He kissed my forehead and placed my head comfortably on his chest, covering us both with a blanket.

"Sweet dreams Frankie."


	3. Chapter 3 i've always loved you

Chapter three- I've always loved you

I woke up on Monday morning to my dad roaring in anger down the phone. I opened my sleep filled eyes and squinted as the new days light burst through the windows. I looked around and saw Gerard's battered school bag lying on my bedroom floor, he had left it there from the Friday when I last saw him. I had woken up on Saturday morning in a panic as to where Gerard was. Thoughts of my dad catching us lying in bed had rushed throughout my mind. As innocent as the whole situation was I knew he wouldn't have seen it like that. I spent the whole weekend thinking about that Friday night, what did it all mean? I had racked my brains for an answer but just ended up getting a headache.

"Uh" I moaned out loud as I realised I had a school essay I had not completed that was due in for today. I rubbed my eyes a few times and heard a bang from downstairs.

"FRANK!" My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the harsh tones of my bitter father. I clenched my eyes shut as I heard him rampage up the stairs, I didn't want to know what was coming. "FRANK YOU FUCKING BASTARD THE AUTHORITES ARE GOING TO CHARGE ME THANKS TO YOU!" He roared crashing through the door.

I stared at him oblivious and backed away to avoid my father's firing line. "I..I don't.." I stuttered failing to grasp any reason as to why I was now being shouted at first thing in the morning, he cut in viciously, the rage burning in his black eyes.

"HAVE YOU SEEN THE TIME? YOU FUCKING SLEPT IN. YOU WERE ON YOUR LAST WARNING! NOW IT'S ME WHO HAS TO PAY!" Then I realised.

My recent school skipping activities with Gerard had caused me to be given my final warning from the head of school. One more late mark and my father was going to get charged. I looked over at my clock and saw it was now 12:30. "Fuck" I breathed, but before I could even look at my father I found myself being forcefully thrown against my bedroom wall.

"YOU ARE GONNA GET THE MONEY FOR THIS YOU!" My dad continued to scream and shout, I stayed still on the floor as he continued to kick me. I exhaled with quivering lips as he took one final blow to my face. I didn't dare to speak or move, but sniffled as I felt a tear trickle down my aching cheek.

"GET THE FUCK TO SCHOOL!" He left my room and slammed the door so hard it nearly fell off its hinges. I brought my hand up to my face and felt a wet sensation on my fingertips. I looked down at my hand slowly and saw the red substance dripping off of it. I closed my eyes and tried to hold back the tears. I crawled over to where Gerard's school bag lay and held it up to my face, the smell of Gerard made my tension fade slightly and I got up and went to my closet. I got dressed in a hurry and was out the door, tiptoeing to avoid another beating from my father.

The wind was cool and soothing against my bruised face. My whole body hurt with a throbbing sting and I didn't know if it was emotional of physical pain that was the cause. I finally reached the school building and sighed as I stepped through its towering walls. I checked my timetable and saw I had about 10 minutes of science left before lunch. This made me somewhat glade I had slept in. As I reached my class room door I saw Gerard sitting at the front of the class. My heart began to work in over drive when I saw my best friend glance over at me. I walked to the front and sat down not uttering a word. I thought I must have been invisible when neither the teacher nor Gerard said anything as I sat down. I felt like I was going to burst out in tears any second.

The awkwardness between me and Gerard continued until the lunch bell rang. We walked over to our usual outside spot when He looked at me, obviously realising this was the part he had to talk to me. He gulped and let his mouth fall agape as he set eyes upon my battered face.

"Frank.." He gasped and shook his head feverishly as is he could not compute what he was seeing.

"Gerard." I pleaded with desperate eyes. I needed some comfort then not questioning. I felt as if I was going to pass out.

"Frank did your.." He swallowed as I nodded solemnly. I lay down with my back on the grass and closed my eyes in an attempt to block out the world. I began to shake violently when I felt a warm hand on my knee. I looked up and saw Gerard with watery eyes, he looked so pitiful and sad even more than I probably did. He licked his lips and ran his other hand through his hair as if preparing for something.

"Your beautiful." He whimpered, his voice was hoarse from the lack of speech. He looked at me with the same pleading eyes. As the words left his lips I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He moved his hand further down my leg to the top of my thigh. When I didn't falter he proceeded to place himself between my legs. He lent down on my shaking chest and looked at me for consent. Our eyes were a perfect mirror of each others, both pleading for the same thing.

I let out a slight whimpering noise and felt Gerard's soft lips press against my own. I kissed back desperately and Gerard adjusted himself so he was fully on top of me with his hands gripping at my sides. He pressed into me and kissed me with more passion as our breathing became quick and choppy. My mind was swimming with overwhelming emotion and I thought Gerard might have sensed this when he brought his hands up and entangled them in my un-brushed mane. He pushed his tongue against my own and began exploring his way around my mouth, he bucked his hips into me and I couldn't stop a moan escaping my mouth. He finally surfaced for air and scanned over my heated face for a reaction until he finally spoke. "You don't know how long I have wanted to do that." There was a brief silence until I fully registered what he had said.

"WHAT?" I nearly chocked. But when I saw his face drop I continued quickly. "Gerard I have been wanting to do that for fucking years and now you tell me you feel the same?"

"I was scared Frank." He looked down at his feet and let out a small sigh.

"Scared? ..scared! I AM FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU!" I practically screamed. But quickly went quiet when I realised what I had said. I saw a group of kids from my class staring from my sudden outburst but I no longer cared. Gerard began to kiss me all over, each press of his lips sending an electric current throughout my whole body.

"And here's me thinking you weren't afraid to tell people your feelings." He half joked and began to snuggle into my neck. He breathed close to my ear causing me to arch my back. I heard a kid from my class shout abuse about being a fag but merely ignored it. Gerard's grip seemed to tighten around me as if trying to protect me from the abuse being shot at us.

After a few minutes of heavy breathing and holding he pulled away and looked me straight in the eyes, he whispered so quietly I could only just hear him.

"I've always loved you."


	4. Chapter 3 ALTERNATIVE SAD ENDING

I woke up suddenly to the repetitive hammering on my bedroom door. Feeling confused I glanced at the clock seeing it was only 3am Saturday morning. My head was pounding and my eyes were groggy. I turned around to see Gerard laying there fast asleep like an angel. Thoughts of the night before came flooding back. "Shit." I breathed to myself. Gerard was still in my house and the banging was quickly getting louder and louder.

"FRANK!" My dad kicked and clawed at the door continuously screaming and cursing. I felt my heart stop beating as I saw Gerard open his sleep filled eyes and look around in a panic. I reached my hand over to Gerard and clung on to him unable to register any kind of rational thoughts. My dad's voice became more aggressive and screamed so loud I swore I saw the floor move.

"FRANK OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR NOW!" Gerard looked at me with fear in his eyes. I glanced from the thumping door back to Gerard in terror. Somehow my dad knew Gerard was here and wasn't going to give up until he had him in his grasp. I felt Gerard's hand close around mine with a shaking grip. He squeezed hard and didn't take his eyes from my own. At that moment the door began to unhinge from its frame.

My dad came rampaging into my room with anger and remorse burning in his tiny snake like eyes. He stopped and locked eyes on mine and Gerard's hands. The next thing I knew I was on the floor and Gerard was pinned against the wall.

"YOU FUCKING FAG. HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY SON HOW DARE YOU!" My dad's words came out sharp and bitter, each letter tearing chunks of flesh along with it. My breathing was heavy as I grasped for breath. The sudden impact with the floor had caused my chest to become taught and I struggled to intake any oxygen at all. I watched my dad swing at Gerard's streaming face and heard an ominous cracking sound. Blood began to pour everywhere and Gerard pleaded at me for help. His face was covered in blood and the lights in his eyes appeared to be fading. My dad slammed Gerard's desperate face against the wall and he fell to the floor in a heap. I felt so much anger and rage boil inside of me and I launched at my father. I tried to grab hold of his hands and push him to the floor but felt the sudden impact of his harsh hands around my neck. I felt my airways being closed off as I heard police sirens close outside.

I fell to the floor and watched as armoured police men began to drag my father from the room. Two paramedics went over to Gerard's unconscious body and lifted him onto a stretcher, I watched as his limp arms hung gingerly down from his beaten member. Everything was all too much for me to handle. I felt myself fall backwards as everything went black.

The next thing I knew I was laying in a white room with wires sticking out of my swollen arms. My head felt as if it had been used as target practise and my body pulsated and throbbed with a searing pain. I saw the door open as a tall kind looking nurse walked in quietly.

"Mr Iero would you like a glass of water?" She asked with a delicate hushed voice. I soon remembered everything that had happened and only wanted to see one person.

"W..wheres Gerard? My dad..My dad he-" I was cut off as the nurse hushed my panicked voice and nodded slowly.

"Mr Iero your father has been arrested. If you would like to see Mr Way he is on the first floor ward 2. He has a broken nose but will be discharged today. You gave us quiet a scare the pair of you." She gave me a comforting smile and proceeded to hand me a glass of water and a phone. I gave her an unsure look as she began to talk.

"If you would like to call someone who can look after you while your father is away Mr Iero." She gave a pitiful sigh and exited the room slowly. I shifted awkwardly and looked down at my clenching hands. I didn't have anyone else who could look after me. After my mom died it was only me and my drunk of a dad. I felt a slight surge of anger towards my mom for leaving me with such a father but quickly focused on other things.

I got up shakily removing the wire that was still fixed to my arm. I glared at the phone I knew I had no use for and left the room towards ward 2. I walked slowly noticing how the whole place was still and white apart from the odd speck of blood on the walls. I felt myself shudder and began to hurry up the dead corridor. I let my mind wander to the people who had been here before me. The thought that hundreds of people had died here made my stomach feel hollow and I was glad to reach Gerard's room. I peered over the glass screen cover to see him sitting up staring at the wall blankly. I opened the door trying to keep things as quiet as possible and slowly sat down next to Gerard. I gazed up at him not uttering a word but he didn't move an inch. He continued to stare with no expression at the off white wall.

"Gerard." I breathed worriedly but got no response. He continued to stay completely still until I saw his lips part slightly and he let out a sigh.

"You didn't help me." His voice was quiet and frail and he refused to move his line of sight from the wall.

"Gerard..I was in shock..you know I..I'm sorry." I stumbled over my words unknowing of how to answer Gerard. I placed my hand on his covered thigh and felt his muscles tighten at my touch. I felt a wet droplet land on my hand and looked up to see Gerard blinking back tears. He had a hard expression but as the tears fell so did his face. His features began to crack and I could see the hurt he was feeling shinning through. He rubbed his bandaged nose weakly and scrunched up his face whimpering, he wiped his eyes on his sleeve and looked at me with wide pupils.

"I trusted you Frankie.." His voice broke off quietly as he struggled to say my name. He looked down and swallowed awkwardly.

"Gee." I whimpered desperately. I saw his eyes grow pitiful as he debated his next move. He turned to look at me but shook his head closing his eyes and faced away. My heart fell to the floor as realisation bit me hard and sharp.

I was alone. My dad was gone, I had no other family and my best friend of 10 years and the love of my life had just given up on me. The tears began to flow thick and fast and I began to shake and quiver as I got up and ran from Gerard's room. I saw him get up after me as I began to run as fast as I could down the pristine hospital ward. I crashed into a nurse holding a glass of water and sent her crashing against the wall. I had given up all hope and just needed to get away. I ran over to the main exit and swung the large glass doors open as quick as I could. The sudden force of the wind caused the tears to stream even faster down my tense features. I didn't know where the hell I was but saw a park across the road and decided it would be a good place to go and calm down. The tears blurred my vision as I darted across the road in front of me. I heard a frantic beeping followed by a deafening screeching noise as I felt the impact of the car in front of me hit my torso hard. I was knocked flying onto the hard tarmac road and could feel the sensation of blood rushing to my head. My sight was blocked with tears and petrol fumes as I felt familiar hands wrap around me.

"FRANKIE! FRANKIE PLEASE! FRANK!" Gerard's voice came rampaging through my head as I saw his terrified face pull close to my own. He was crying and screaming over and over.

"FRANKIE PLEASE STAY WITH ME PLEASE YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME FRANK I NEED YOU!" His eyes were distraught and he grasped at me with his large shaking hands. Everywhere began to spin around me and I could feel myself slipping away from reality.

"FRANK NO I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FRANKIE!" He kissed me hard as I heard the words I had wanted to hear my whole life enter my ears. I held his hand tightly and looked into his beautiful green eyes, my grip began to loosen as I felt my eyes slowly close and for the last time the whole world went black...


End file.
